"The Art of Falling in Love" Lecture Series Given
"The Art of Falling in Love" Lecture Series Given
  • Reporter Lee Suh-young
  • 승인 2012.04.11 19:34
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Falling in love is possibly one of the main perks of being a student. Never again are you likely to find such a broad selection of potential mates all in one place, nor to receive full support from the professional  specialists and non-professional specialists: your friends.
On Mar. 3, a group of students hung a banner in front of Jigok Community Center advertising that a senior student is looking for a girlfriend. Celebrating his 8000th day of being single, they designed a banner for him and gave him the title “mabeopsa” (wizard in Korean) for not having a girlfriend for that long. It is not too rare to witness such a scene around campus.
“Mabeopsa” (a term originating from a Japanese adult video game), refers to people who have not lost their virginity by age of 25, though its meaning has changed a bit as it was transferred to Korea. In general, it denotes someone who doesn’t have a girlfriend for 8000 days. Celebrated for being a wizard, students usually go out to drink and make an incantation ? “Accio beer!”
POSTECH is one of the desperate places where male students are looking for girlfriends. Since its establishment, the gender ratio of POSTECH has remained around 20 percent female and 80 percent male. In attempt to alleviate the unfavorable ratio, the POSTECH Counseling Center is providing a group therapy with a title “The Art of Falling in Love.”  The following are some tips from the counselor.

For Boys
Don’t jump to conclusions! Even though the gender ratio may be harsh, it does not always mean that you are going to be unsuccessful in having a relationship. When it comes to relationships, it is not too much to stress self-esteem and guts, which means not being afraid of failure.
For boys who have not found a girl to date, don’t hesitate. The very start of a relationship differs from person to person. Some might want to share their life with a girl whom they have known for a long time, while others might be able to start their relationship with mixed feelings and get closer as time goes by. Therefore, it is realistic to be open-minded in any group in which you belong. There is a good quote for you who are not sure: Every Jack has his Jill.
For Girls
Breaking up is just another chance to explore. At POSTECH, many female students feel that they are pushed to have boyfriends. When you are single, it is wise to meet a wide range of people and find what Prince Charming is to you. Either consciously or unconsciously, people are supposed to calculate whether they fit to the image of a desired boy friend. Accordingly, if you have the solid image of Prince Charming, next time it is much easier to find your boy friend.
Moreover, friends are another important part of a fulfilled life. By spending time with your friends, you are building solid connections for the long-term, hopefully even for life.

The Intention of Group Therapy
“Although its title is ‘The Art of Falling in Love’, it is not a matchmaking group,” said Kim Mi Hwa of the POSTECH Counseling Center. For every Wednesday from Apr. 4 to May 30, the POSTECH Counseling Center prepares a group therapy to promote better understanding between male and female students. During the semester, they decided to focus on the relationship problem because many students long to get involved in relationships, but it is difficult under the unfavorable gender ratio.
Some might doubt the positive effect of group therapy, but when facing similar issues, they are more likely to tap into advice, feedback, and support from other members. By sharing their experiences with others, people begin to see that they are not the only ones worried about the issues and that there is hope and help.
Furthermore, group therapy allows them to better understand how people are very different from their perspective, and they may obtain the feeling of acceptance by interacting with others. Also, many people are anxious about participating in group therapy because they don’t want other people to find out about their problems. In therapy, group members make a commitment to the group and are instructed that the contents of the group sessions remain confidential.
Kim said, “There is always important ‘Trial and Error’. We expect students who want to learn how to communicate with girls, and boys and better understand you!”