Gap inside me
Gap inside me
  • Reporter Park Hee-won
  • 승인 2019.01.05 00:15
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Every individual living in the modern society has many aspects. Fragmentation of highly developed society inevitably oblige people to have thoughts on various fields that matter. Also, one is not confined to have only one occupation in the lifetime that sometimes one can get a few jobs at the same time in these days. The idea that everyone deserves the second chance is common. We can take advantage of cutting-edge technology by acquiring diverse information from sources which is represented by mass media and social network service. We can find tons of information just by googling the keyword.

It is almost impossible for a human being to be perfect in spite of the deluge of information. There is no absolute answer to the stance one should take in this world of relativity. Everyone has an interest and belongs to different classes. The same person can belong to the majority while thinking of oneself as the minority regarding other issues. The commonsense which holds good can be the nonsense in other classes. Different viewpoints collide and sometimes hurt each other. 

However, I found a gap inside myself recently. I am an editor of the Postech Times from the last semester and chairperson of MODAM, Students·minority human rights council from this year. I must have a neutral and fair viewpoint to the world as a reporter. I should care for the human rights issues and work for the right enhancement of the minority as a leader of MODAM. I, as myself, have my own values that I believe are right. I sometimes have to deal with the problems with the different viewpoints from mine as a member of two associations I am attached to. I started censoring my daily words obsessively to avoid potential minor discrimination I might cause as a member of MODAM. When I meet my friends personally, I struggled not to express my own thoughts on controversial issues because my private opinion might be seen as the attitude of the Postech Times. Having a relationship only with the people of similar viewpoints does not seem plausible and it is undoubtedly unhelpful for me grow inside. I was in a deadlock handling the agony due to the mismatch inside me. 

I concluded that further segregation between the official and private part of myself would be painful and dispensable. I decided to just classify how the leader should behave regarding the directivity of the organizations – to draw a distinct line between public and private matters. Excessive self-censorship was not good and being in an organization does not always mean that I have to follow every trivial constraint and absurdly high morality that the society expects. It does not mean that I will not be careful to neutrality or minority sensitivity and act recklessly. As I mentioned above, everyone has various but intertwining facets. It was absurd being stressful on the subtle inconsistency between my value system and official attitude. 

Responsibility and morality of the leader are important factors that affect the mood and eventual success of a group. However, struggle for the coincidence of public and private part of myself is way too harsh in this modern, fragmented society, which is too stressful. The discrepancy between the real and the ideal is not the thing that should be ashamed of as long as one does the best. Admitting there is no perfect human being (including myself!) and acknowledging the differences between I and others is important too.