Extraordinary is Ordinary: just another ordinary queer life
Extraordinary is Ordinary: just another ordinary queer life
  • KIMUSANG, a queer youtuber and TOEIC instructor
  • 승인 2018.09.19 20:48
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KIMUSANG, a queer youtuber and TOEIC instructor
KIMUSANG, a queer youtuber and TOEIC instructor

My name is KIMUSANG.

Kimusang means the most common last name in Korea ‘Kim’ pronounced in Japanese.

I am a 33-year-old TOEIC instructor. I began my career in 2009. The year 2018 is my 10th anniversary! :) I’ve been working hard as a TOEIC instructor for my students but there has been always something missing. Something that completes me. I wanted to find it for a long time.

In 2015, my close friend came out to me as a lesbian and I was surprised that the “COMING-OUT” was just that easy. I was literally shocked. I had denied myself as a lesbian in my entire life. I thought accepting myself as I am was the hardest thing, but I was totally wrong. It was nothing. It is just like looking at myself through the mirror more clearly than ever before. The fact that I truly accept myself as I am completely made me real me. After coming out to myself as a lesbian, I wanted to share my experience and feelings. I have the ability to make videos so I decided to become a Youtuber.  At first, I made several Podcasts which is not video but audio and then I started my own youtube channel.

 

My job is YOUTUBER.
I make video contents about everything. Everything I see, I feel, and I love. I express myself through the videos. Normally, I make videos with my wife. Those videos are very interesting not because we are both women, because we love each other. I make videos about us. In the videos, we are having dinner, traveling abroad, reacting to popular music videos and so on. Also, I make videos about Apple products, such as iPhone, iPod, AirPods and anything from Apple. I am a kind of tech Youtuber as well. 

I make my most videos using my smartphone, iPhone. As you know, the more equipment you have, the better the video quality or result you can get. But, on the world wide web, we can never expect the same result from the previous cases. I think there is no right answer. If you want to make 4K or 5K high-quality videos, you should have very expensive tools. But many YouTubers just make videos using their smartphone just like me. The smartphone is much smarter than ever. Now I have about 350 videos in my channel and half of them were made by only iPhone. Everything needed in the progress can be done in iPhone; shooting, editing, making titles and uploading on Youtube. You can do everything you want using only your phone. Of course, I also use a computer and a camera. My tools are MacBook Pro, DJI Mavic Air drone, and Sony action camera. 

Here are the numbers if you consider becoming Youtuber. In my top 10 most viewed videos, 5 of them are made by only my iPhone 7 Plus. Become a Youtuber right now!

I am just another usual Youtuber. However, I am a lesbian and I put it on the titles of my videos and that makes me different from others. Because of that, I was worried about haters when starting my youtube channel. There are a lot of queer-haters in Korea, so I assumed some haters could beat me or throw eggs to me on the street. But my worries were totally unnecessary. It never happened. Haters do not care about my youtube channel. Maybe they do not know about me. I should work hard for them! :) 

If there is a challenge as a YouTuber, it is time. I want to make interesting videos but I have to teach TOEIC in my class. Time management is so important for those who have various jobs. 

 

My story is ORDINARY.
When I was in my twenties, I have not accepted myself as a lesbian. Almost all of my friends, acquaintances, colleagues have expressed their negative feelings and opinions about the queer, so I could not admit myself as a bad person. I always knew I love women as a woman but I just could not think I was a lesbian. I searched for lesbian movies, images, and coming-out celebrities. I was and I am SO lesbian but at that time I didn’t have balls (you know what I’m talking about). I had a common misconception that queers are not ordinary, not normal, not usual. But I AM QUEER. Thanks to my relatively late identification as a lesbian, I have both sides of views; the one that is the ordinary person looking at the queers weirdly from far away and the other that is the queer-self being watched by the ordinary people with their cold eyes. Imagine. If your family, close friends, or your people come out to you as a lesbian, a gay, or a queer today, does the fact change that person? Will you see that person with cold eyes? Will you cut off that person from your life? Does the coming-out really matter to the relationship between you and the person? 

There is a line between the ordinary and the queer. This invisible but dangerous line may cause hate crimes. I want to erase the invisible line between ordinary and extraordinary. 

Human is naturally ordinary and extraordinary at the same time. We are complex and I think that makes us special. Weird is common. Abnormal is just another normal thing. 

I remember the TV show titled ‘Respond, 1988 (tvN, 2015)’. The one episode is about the marriage with the same surname and same place of family origin. Up until just about 20 years ago, it was illegal for couples with the same surname and same place of family origin to get married. However, these days nobody cares about that when going out on a date or getting married. I think the same-sex marriage will be the same. Someday nobody cares about the same-sex marriage because it will be so normal and not illegal. I hope the day will be coming soon.